Disappointed and in a difficult situation

The past few days have not been good for me. In fact, it has been quite difficult. On tuesday, I realised that I had not been chosen to represent Victoria for soccer. I was very upset and did not understand why. For the past one year I have been attend training consistently and working very hard but the coach still felt I still wasn't good enough to make it to the team. I really wanted to play for the school team badly. Another factor was that if I would not receive enough CCA points if I did not play in competitons for school. To make matters worse, Sec 1 players were selected before me and those whom I felt I was better than. Or maybe, I was just too over-confident. The thought of changing CCA came to my mind. The floorball coach, Mr Amir, had asked me a few times to join him in floorball. A few of my friends advised me to change to floorball as they felt that I would have a higher chance of representing school but others from floorball thought differently. And the soccer teacher also told me that I might have a slim chance of playing for the team in the national tournament as I did not get selected for only the east zone. But the chances weren't very high. Also, joining floorball would not guarantee me a spot in the team so I was in a dilemma. Today, another bad thing happened. During PE, I did not follow instructions and was punished to sit out for the rest of the session. My PE teacher, who was also Mr Amir, first blew the whistle to tell us to gather. However, I went to retrieve the ball and dribbled and played with the ball awhile with my friend before we went to gather. Mr Amir was quite angry and said he felt that I could not follow instructions so I wasn't selected for the soccer team. I was already very upset about not being selected and what he said really hurt me. Meanwhile, he still hadn't sent me out. He wanted us to continue passing the ball around. My friend gave me a bad pass and the ball rolled towards the goalposts. I took the opportunity to shoot the ball towards goal and I hit it a little too hard and I slammed onto the crossbar with a loud bang. Mr Amir had enough and asked me to sit at the sidelines. After school, I wanted to attend floorball training as my soccer teacher told me to do so first. However, when I told Mr Amir I wanted to join in, he said no and told me to go back to soccer as he did not want players who couldn't listen to instructions. Those words really cut through my heart...... Sometimes I really wonder why I am such an idiot. Sigh, first month of the year and so much trouble already...... I just hope everything will turn out okay......